my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
