you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
