have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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