I hate your face
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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