I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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