your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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