I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.