Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize