belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
