Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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