I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
