so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
