found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
