Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
