Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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