if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
