would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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