I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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