Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
