WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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