God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
