yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
