Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
