Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
