oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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