whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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