I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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