i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
