: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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