For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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