Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
