So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
