If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
