I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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