its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
