does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
