A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
