im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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