so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
