i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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