i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
