The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
