I'd wear matching sweaters with you
wakey wakey hands off snakey
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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