I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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