I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
