Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
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i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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