We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
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she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
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You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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