proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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