My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i out mim tonsoeep
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