And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize