I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
