Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
