i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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