Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
