shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize