Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
