You really coming over, don't trick.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
