OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
