she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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