I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
