well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
