It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
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I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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